
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2512328.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Dave_Strider/Karkat_Vantas, Dave_Strider/John_Egbert, Dave_Strider/Bro,
      Bro/John_Egbert
  Character:
      Dave_Strider, Karkat_Vantas, John_Egbert, Bro
  Additional Tags:
      Texas, First_Loves, Suicide, English_accents, Memories, Smut_in_2nd
      chapter, Major_character_death_-_Freeform, Sadstuck, Notes_and_Roses,
      Mental_Institution, AU, human_stuck
  Series:
      Part 2 of The_School_Slut
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-10-26 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 6002
****** Dave Strider...the School Slut, In Love?! ******
by koujadickcosplay
Summary
     Dave Strider is the school slut, he has slept with half the guys in
     the school. He then meets the new transfer, Karkat Vantas, he falls
     in love though he doesn't know it...Karkat falls in love with Dave as
     well and they have their first date because of a bet. A couple of
     months later Karkat tells Dave his feelings, Dave doesn't say
     anything but beds Karkat like he wanted to ever since he met him
     about a year ago. Karkat has a life-time history of self-harm,
     depression and suicide attempts and thinks that Dave has just used
     him when one of Dave's *old* lays tells Karkat the truth about the
     young Strider. Karkat feels like he was used and avoids Strider.
     Karkat then takes his life. A couple of hours later, Dave comes round
     his house, with a note and a simple rose. Planning to leave the note
     on the table for his boyfriend to read later, he comes across a note
     left to him on his bedroom door, he then finds Karkat's body and ends
     up in a mental institution, where all that runs in his mind is the
     memories of his and Karkat's life together and the regret about not
     telling the young Vantas sooner and also, he can't remember what
     Karkat looks like but he keeps seeing a messy black hair urban eyed
     boy every day in his room.
Notes
     I am terribly sorry for this Sadstuck...just...it came to mind at
     some point tonight and I really wanted to write it...and I cried all
     through writing the first chapter...
     Through out all this story I listened to a Sadstuck : Nepeta and
     Karkat : Kiss It Better
     its an amazing song, but really depressing..
***** Meeting the New Kid... *****
 
When I first saw Karkat Vantas I didn't think much of him, I mean, he was
nothing special to look at. Well maybe he was pretty cute in a chubby trying to
hide it way. But he was modest, shy and a great person to be around. It was a
normal day the first time I saw him, I was a couple of weeks into my new year
at school, year 10 to be precise. And God knows I was bored. So I decided to do
a bit of awesome pranking on some people with my best friend to help me out.
His name was John Egbert, and he was amazing at pranking. The Prank King was
his name throughout the school and I loved it when we went on a pranking spree,
even pranking each other was great fun, the best fun. Well, we had just started
out creating a fun prank to pull on the boys. We had stuck cling film in the
toilets on the male toilets, and we were just waiting for the victim to come
along. Sure, it was the oldest prank in the book but it was a classic. We were
waiting outside the toilets as a couple of boys walked in, we chuckled as we
waited and sooner than thought we heard a couple of screams coming from inside
the closed door and we burst into fits of laughter. It was great and then they
came out of the toilets. All glaring and red faces of embarrasment. Me and John
decided to bail then, we ran through the halls and I slipped on a banana peel
that John had deliberatly put down for someone else to run into, I flew right
into a kid. He screamed and dropped all his books as we collided.
"Shit...sorry..." I muttered still laughing hard.
The boy flushed brightly and shook his head "I-Its o-okay..." he stutters and I
stand up all cool like and grinned at him.
Holding my hand out to him he took it nervously and I pulled him up, can't help
but noticing how cute he actually was.
"You're the new kid right?" John asks as he stops to help, collecting the
sprewn books and handing them to him.
He nods slightly and takes his books back in a flurry. "Y-Yeah..."
"Something begining with a K right?"
"Korban?" I offer totally helpful to the situation.
"Karkat..." He mutters.
I was use to weird names at this school, but that was the strangest by far.
"Karkat?" I muttered trying to get my head round it.
"Y-Yeah..." He keeps stuttering and its cute as fuck, I might as well not deny
it because its bloody obvious.
"Well nice meetin' you." I grin devilishly and turn to see the Year 11 boys
shouting and coming after us in anger before I grab John's hand and we run
towards the exit.
After we were safe I laughed brightly and collapsed on the soft green grass, I
would never admit this to anyone, but I like being in the sun and being in
nature, it made me feel pretty secure about well...fucking everything. John
stares at me and smiles brightly, I think its safe to say we were shit happy
that our prank worked.
"So thats the new kid huh?" I say thoughtfully, my mind going back to the
adorable Karkat.
"No Dave..." John snaps at me.
"No what?" I ask totally innocent.
"You know exactly what, and don't you dare."
"But why?"
"Because your already known as the school slut. At least leave him alone."
"Nope sorry, already undressed and fucked him."
"Fuck sake Dave...he's just a kid."
"So?"
"And he might not even be gay?"
"So? Bisexual then."
"Dave...not every boy at this school will fall for you."
"Then they aren't human."
"I didn't."
"That's why we're friends stupid."
"Dave...your pathetic you know that? And don't call me stupid."
"Your only saying that because I have had a lot more than you'll ever get."
"Just because I don't go around practically advancing on anyone, doesn't mean-"
"Means I will always and forever get more than you."
"-Mean that I won't get any. And plus you know, I'm straight."
"So then bed someone already."
"No."
"God your boring."
"Whatever."
"Fine...but at least let me try on the new kid?"
"Dave, I think you would try anyway, no matter what I said..."
"Right. So give up and save your breath."
"Fine whatever...sorry Karkat, I tried."
I laugh at that last statement and go back to staring at the sky.
The rest of the day blew past in a blur and I wish I could have slowed time
down anyway, I wanted to see the new kid again. But I didn't and the only
reason the time blew past was because of my inner thoughts about bedding
Karkat, the thoughts got me rock hard and by the end of the day I practically
ran home to sort out my little problem. I don't really remember what I did to
make myself satisfied, But I think it involved me undressing completely,
grabbing my bottle of lube and my dildo...and then I came very hard shouting
Karkat's name and imagining his cute face scrunched up covered in my come. And
wow, was that hot. But I did get interupted by my Bro, which did piss me off
and all I did shout at him.
The next few days blew past with nothing happening and no Karkat. But then
there was Friday, and a certain PE class was in session. The bell rang for the
day to begin and I made my way to PE, which a certain little cutie was already
there in a corner all alone getting changed. My heart raced at the sight of him
and I walked over all cool-like and shugged off my school jumper. Karkat jumped
at the sight of me and I liked that, he was in the middle of removing his
trousers and I got hard again, more hard this time as I was actually seeing him
remove his clothes and show off his beautiful white skin. But I removed my eyes
from his body to his arms. He arms were covered up with bandages. I knew better
than to ask about it at that moment and I still had to say hi to the boy.
"Hey." I grinned at him with my usual flirtacious smile. "Remember me?"
He nods slightly and quickly pullls on his PE shirt which was a plain black v-
neck sweater, before going back to changing his pants.
"So...whats that on your arms?"
He flushes brightly and I knew I brought up a touchy subject.
"I...erm...have weak arms" I knew he was lying, but I didn't question it.
"Oh okay...same, well more like eye-sight. Thats why I wear these." I pointed
to the aviator shades on my face, and this was a blatant lie, I had perfect eye
sight. The only reason I wore them was because my eyes were a hideous colour of
red. I mean, I loved the colour red. But not for an eye colour.
I didn't get a respond and then I noticed he was putting on his shoes and I
wasn't even undressed yet. I pulled off my trousers quickly, standing in only
my underwear, my hard-on pure for the eye to see, and a lot of my previous lays
were staring and swooning which I couldn't help but chuckle at. Karkat
thankfully hadn't noticed yet, it would be embarrasing if he saw, so I quickly
pulled on some red jogging shorts and then a red shirt with a printed image of
Finn and Jake from Adventure Time, because that anime is seriously amazing.
Karkat smiles slightly at my shirt "I like Adventure Time too.." I hear him
whisper and I grin brightly, liking the fact that we had at least one thing in
common.
He was short, black messy long hair, deep urban brown eyes and pale skin,
English accent and wore lots of black. While I was tall, bright red eyes hidden
by black shades, tannished skin, styled blonde hair, Texas accent and I wore
lots of bright colours and images printed on my shirts.
"So, wanna be my partner today? We have to do Tennis today." I ask brightly and
to my happiness he nods.
"Yeah...please..." He timidly says and I grin.
"Great! Well come on then, if we want to get the good rackets."
I noticed that a lot of the other people in our class weren't dressed yet and I
took pride in that, I was usually the last to finish changing, so therefore
hanging around Karkat was a good influence on me, even more the reason to hang
around him. We got the Tennis courts and I grabbed the two newest rackets there
and I hand one to the small kid. The teacher gave some smartass comment on how
surprised he was to see me out first. So I gave a smartass comment back. Karkat
laughed slightly and I practically melted at the sound, I could seriously
listen to that sound for the rest of life and I could also get off on it as
well, but I wouldn't tell anyone that.
Going to the end Tennis Court and began a couple of practise hits before we
started a serious game. I saw a side of Karkat I never knew the shy kid had,
competitive. So I grinned devilishly and purposely missed the next hit. Going
to pick up the ball I called Karkat over leaned in close to him.
"Want to place a bet?"
"B-Bet?" Back in was the stuttering wall, but hey, I wasn't complaining.
"Yeah. Lets see...if I win this round, you have to spend the whole day with me
tomorrow."
"And if I win?" Suddenly the competitive kid was back and I could have laughed.
"I'll let you pick that. Deal?"
After a couple of moments he nods "Deal." I winked at him and moved back into
postition while he moved back to his side of the court.
"Ready?" I say loudly, thankful for the shades on my face because the sun was
out and hot, how the fuck Karkat would wear a sweater in this heat was beside
me.
He nods slightly and the game begins.
After half an hour later the class ends and I was victorious. As we walked back
to the changing rooms I was already contemplating what was going to happen
tomorrow. I knew that I needed a lot of vital information for tomorrow and I
was going to have fun finding that out.
I got dressed quickly and put on some Lynx deodrant that was called Apollo. It
smelt amazing and I sprayed it on my bed at night so I could sleep in the
enticing scent. I offered Karkat some which he took graciously and put on a
small amount, I could have laughed at how cute he looked as he grinned at the
scent of it.
"So. Karkat." I smiled as we walked to the school grounds for break.
"Yeah?" He asks peering up at me.
"I need to know some things." He flustered at that point and stared at the
ground almost embarrased.
"Like what?"
"Well since I am reining champion of our competiton, which means I won, our
little bet, is now in place and happening. So I need to know where you live,
your phone number, your email and your Pesterchum Handle. You know normal
things." He seemed to dramatically calm down, boy this kid is weird. I knew
that if I didn't want to get in his pants so much, I wouldn't talk to him.
"Oh...well 69 Alternia Road, 019-473-983, KK@hussie.com and carcinoGenesist"
Karkat answers them all at once.
"Hold on, let me get a pen...right again?" I ask and write down the informatin
on the back of my hand to be transfered to paper later.
Lunch soon ended and before I know it I was back in my bedroom getting myself
off to another image of Karkat, thankful for no interuptions from my brother.
I chuckled to myself as I grabbed my laptop, the latest model in Sburb which I
saved ages for once I found out they were releasing a new model and I also sold
my last once once I got the new model. Going onto Pesterchum I searched up
Karkat's name and added him instantly, which he instantly added me back. My
heart started beating as I typed out a message. It was the first time I have
ever had my heart beat fast and my stomach flip. And I wasn't sure what to make
of it, but I shrugged it off.
~~ TG began pestering CG at 6:09pm ~~
TG: hey vantas
TG: its dave
CG: HI DAVE
TG: wow use loud words for a quiet kid
CG: HUH?
TG: doesnt matter
TG: so tomorrow?
CG: OH YEAH...
CG: WHEN DID YOU WANT TO MEET ME?
TG: how about i go round to your house at say...
TG: 10 past 11?
CG: 11:10?
CG: SURE
CG: WHAT WILL WE BE DOING?
TG: something awesome and ironic...
TG: how about we go to town?
CG: DAVE...
CG: I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR THAT...
CG: AND I DOUBT MY BROTHER WILL GIVE IT TO ME BECAUSE HE'S BROKE AT THE MOMENT
TG: kay
TG: ill pay
CG: I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO THAT
TG: your not asking
TG: im offering
TG: well im not offering
TG: its going to happen
CG: DAVE...I...
CG: THANK YOU
TG: no probs
TG: shit bro is calling me
TG: see you tomorrow and possibly call you later tonight
CG: OH...ERM...OKAY...NIGHT
~~ TG ceased pestering CG at 6:18pm ~~
I knew I was coming on a bit strong, but I seriously wanted to meet this boy
and I seriously wanted to get in his pants. But anyway, I went to see what my
Bro wanted.
"Dave, I know you've had your eyes set on this boy from school."
"So?"
"Well. I just wanted you to take it easy."
"And how would you know this?"
"John told me."
"Oh...fucking Egbert..."
Even though he swears he's straight, I knew better. I knew him like a sock and
he was gay for your bro. He would bend at every word my bro says without
question, and my bro knows this.
"Take it easy how?"
"Don't get to pushy with him okay?"
"Whatever..."
"I mean it Dave...the last thing I need is for another class mate of yours to
call rape okay?"
"That was one time!"
"And it won't happen again okay Dave?!"
"Fine..." Bro was angry and I didn't want to annoy him even further so  I
sneaked back to my bedroom where I stayed, restraining myself from calling,
messaging or emailing Karkat. Instead I busied myself with homework, which was
fucking boring.
Saturday me and Karkat had a lot of fun. We went to town, watched a movie he
had been wanting to watch for ages, some sappy chick flick and it was so cute
when he stared crying at the end because the girl commited suicide because she
felt her lover didn't love her back. Quite literally this girl, Sandra was at
school, met her lover there and it didn't go any further than friends for them
even though she loved him back then. Years later they meet and she still had
the same feelings for him, she told him after a couple of months of them going
out but he didn't say anything and for the next couple of weeks he didn't say
'I love you' or any shit like that. And then she commited suicide when that
very same day he sent her message saying how much he was in love with her and
wanted to marry her.
Now bare in mind it was sad, but I wouldn't cry over it because things like
this don't happen in real life. But Karkat was a real mess over it and I put my
arm around him and hugged him and told him everything would be okay. It
actually felt nice to care for someone and I would have done it day after day
for the rest of my life and I knew that and would be unashamed to admit it.
We then had lunch at Burger King because that's where he wanted to go and then
we walked around for a bit until he saw an advertisment in a comic store window
about Adventure Time plushies being sold and I took him inside and brought him
Marshall Lee, the gender bend version because he was his favourite character.
We then spent the rest of the day wandering around and having a laugh. I guess
you could have called this our first date. And it was a beautiful date one of
which I wouldn't have changed a second of.
***** Finally a couple *****
Chapter Summary
     Karkat and Dave are finally going out, but Dave can't bring himself
     to say what Karkat does.
Our life had quite literally been like this for a couple of months now, and I
even asked Karkat out on a proper date. This was so different from me. I
usually fuck them and go, but Karkat, well he was very special but I didn't
know how much he meant to me - which was a fucking lot. Karkat smiled at me as
I walked up the path to his house, we were going to be officially boyfriends as
of this day and I was glad for this. It meant that I could be commited and
didn't need anyones critism anymore. I took his soft warm hand in my own and
together we made the half an hour walk to school. It was a peaceful chilly
morning and it was Friday. This meant that my boyfriend was going to spend the
night over, and then I will finally bed him. I couldn't wait for this, being as
he was a virgin and I would have been his first. It was exciting and I couldn't
wait.
By now I knew about Karkat's past but sworn to secrecy by him. I knew that he
had self-harmed himself and is still doing so, which is why he wears the
bandages on his arms. I told him that I would stay by his side no matter what,
that I would support him through all his bad days and good days. He then told
me about him being suicidal and I said pretty much the same thing, I mean, what
else could I have said? I told him about my red eyes and my low self-esteem
because of it and he told me that he would help me over come my self-esteem
issue. I guess you could say that me and Vantas were closer than twins. We
shared everything with each other and kept no secrets. And tonights going to be
one special night that I will remember for as long as I live.
Everyone looked at me and Karkat strangely as we walked into the school grounds
that day, hand in hand and it wasn't long before rumors to spread, Karkat did
have a panic attack in the middle of the day. I sat with him and petted his
hair and held him close until he felt safe enough to emerge from the male
toilets. After that he was better for the rest of the day and I was glad for
that, I hated seeing him like that and I remember hoping that I would never see
him like that again.
To the end of the day I finally ran into my best friend. Me and John had a
laugh while Karkat was reading with his headphones in.
"So, you two are finally together then?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Don't be coy."
"Fine...no" I lower my voice "But hopefully tonight."
"Seriously? Tonight?"
"Yes. Why problem?"
"I was hoping we could spend this weekend together...I mean I missed you during
the 6 weeks."
"I know...but now I have a boyfriend, but hey, your still fucking the best
partner in pranking crimes and I would never pick another bro."
"Really?"
"Yep, all I need is you in the bro zone."
John smiled at that and I was glad I made him smile. "So, when are we going to
prank again?"
"How about...next Friday?"
"Promise?"
"Promise." I laughed and so did he, we hugged tightly before school was out and
went our seperate ways. Karkat and me on the way to my home, and John to his.
As soon as we got to my home I called to my Bro to tell him we were home which
was resulted in a half gesture from the couch being as MLP was on. I laughed
slightly and ran up to my bedroom with Karkat following close behind. I shut
the door and turned on my light. "So, I got a ton of these chick flicks you
like. Is that okay?"
Karkat rumeges through the pile and smiles satisfied. "Yes." He grins and hugs
me tightly. I sighed and kisses his forehead.
He stares up at him and I finally plant a soft kiss on his lips. It was our
first kiss and god was it epically special. I could have gone on kissing him
forever, but I had other plans for the night. I lead him to my bed where we
both lumped onto it, our lips not breaking once. It seemed he was waiting for
this just as much as I was. I grabbed his hips and dragged his body onto mine
so he was straddling me and I gasped slightly as I felt his erection strained
inside his jeans and my own brushed against his which made him purr slightly.
It was the most beautiful sound ever, if not surprising because I never even
knew this noise could come out of him. And I could have listened to it again
and again and not get bored, much life his voice and his laugh I guess. We both
stip in seconds and our lips are connected once again, he flushes slightly
because of how chubby he is compared to me. But I love every inch of his body,
I had seen him naked before by accident. We were round his home and I walked in
on him getting out of the shower. The sight of Karkat all glistening wet and
dripping with water made me rock hard and I had to hurry out of the bathroom in
embarrasment. He was absolutely beautiful and I wanted him to know it. I kissed
every inch of his body, or I would have liked to anyway, but my cock wanted me
to do something else and from the small sounds Karkat was making in my lap, he
wanted it to. And I was more than happy to oblige. I pinned Karkat down onto
the bed and presses our lips together once again, he still had his bandages on
and I respected that, but I took my shades off for this very special occasion
and I knew that he couldn't tear his eyes away from mine, and the fact that my
emotions were on full display for him to see was actually a big turn on. I
couldn't help myself but stare down at him for a couple of moments to devour
his beauty locked away for my memory. I knew at that moment that what we had
was special and no one could ever take that away from us.
"D-Dave..." he whispers.
"Mmm?"
"I...I'm ready..."
I give a nod and whisper "So am I..."
I run my fingers across his pale skin which makes him shiver slightly and moan
and I glow in the aftermoments of what I just made him do. Pulling his body
close to mine, our erections rubbing agaimst each other I pushed our lips
together, the feeling of our members against each other felt nothing but
perfect, right even. Like it was meant to be. Karkat gave a little purr as if
to say 'are you going to do it or what'? I chuckled as I leaned across him and
grabbed my lube. I laced my middle finger with it and put a drop or two at the
enterance of him which makes his breathe hitch at the coldness. It warmed up
quickly and he relaxed again, I slowly pushed a finger inside of him and his
back arched and he yelped loudly in pain. I pushed our lips together to quite
him a little bit "I know.." I whisper to him "But it will feel better soon,
just trust me." He nods his head in pain and squeazes his eyes shut keeping the
rest of his body loose and relaxed as well as he could. I ran my free hand
through his hair and kissed his perfect lips before slowly pushing in a second
finger and this time he tightened up, yowling in pain but I soothed him back. I
then pushed a third in once he gotten adjusted. He practically screams but I
muffle the sound with my lips against hid and soothe him back to relaxation and
soon I'm slowly fucking him with my fingers with him moaning softly, his
erection already dripping and bobbing back and forth with my slow, thrusts.
"Are you ready Karkles?" I ask and he nods slightly before another moan escapes
him. I slowly take my fingers out of him and lube up my dick I wasn't too big
but I wasn't small I was about 7inches and Karkat was a close 6.7 inches. I
just wish he wasn't so beautiful and perfect, because if anyone else got this
body I would be upset and who knows, because of how gorgeous he is, he will get
a lot of men and women after him. But haha, this boy is mine sorry. I then
place the tip against his enterance and he breathes deeply and slowly as I
slowly push myself inside of him, he bears it and takes it. As soon as I am all
the way in he whines in pleasure and all I can think is 'fuck he's a tight fit,
its beautiful'. I wait a couple of moments for him before I slowly start to
move.
The sounds he makes is enough to drive me crazy as I slowly move back and forth
in rhythmic thrusts inside of his tight asshole. I moan loudly, I don't care
who hears and I don't care how much I loose my cool, all that matters to me is
fucking him into oblivion. Which I doubt my little Karkles would mind. The
young boy clenches tightly around me and fuck does that feel good. I grab his
erection and slowly start to pump him in time with my thrusts. I add a bit of
pressure around him and he seems to love that, so I do it again and again. My
hips thrusts a bit faster and I feel myself getting close to my orgasm, but I
knew by experiance it was better to let the other come first. But fuck it, I
want him to feel me shooting my come into him. I lean over his hot body and
push my lips to his and as I am kissing him, entwining our tongues I go over
the top and shoot my load deep inside of him, I know he can feel it because he
purrs and makes other little hot and adorable noises. I continue to pump his
erection as my body has a wave of numbing sensation wash over me. He lets out a
short warning as he's about to come. With my quickish reflexes in bed I quickly
lean down, my mouth over his tip and I gulp down every last drop of the
delicious milk coming from him. I then lap at his tip which makes him keen
under me. A  hand plays with my hair and I don't break eye contact with him. I
finally drop his cock from my mouth and kiss his lips gently. He yawns loudly
and holds me close to him. I nuzzle his cheek and we fall into a deep sleep, I
feel safe in his arms and will never forget the warmth that washed over me
while I was engulfed in them.
It was Monday too soon, we had spent the whole weekend having sex and it felt
fucking brilliant to have sex with a total virgin. On the way to class this
morning though Karkat shocks me with something I never thought I'd hear "I love
you." He purrs and all I can do is stare at him him shock. But thankfully the
bell goes and I kiss his lips and hurry to my class. I wasn't ready for the 'I
love yous' yet, it was way too soon. I mean sure, I was in love with him but I
wasn't ready to admit that just yet.
***** Karkat is Dead... *****
Chapter Summary
     Karkat has killed himself because he felt he was being used and Dave
     keeps failing on ending his own life
Chapter Notes
     Gog I am so sorry...I can't stop crying..
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It was Wedsnday and Karkat had been avoiding me, mainly because of the 'I love
you' incident where I didn't reply back, I know it hurt him but I would make it
up to him tonight. I was going to surprise him. Right after school was out I
hurried to the boutique near my home and brought a beautiful yellow rose. I
knew that yellow roses meant eternal love and I couldn't wait to give it to
him, but I also wanted to give him something else. So I ran back home, with the
rose and stormed into my bedroom pulling out a piece of paper I started to
write
"It took seconds,
only seconds to see,
your beauty,
your kindness,
your honor,
and I have to say,
That moment when I slipped,
and fell into you,
I fell in love with you as well,
I have been in love with you ever since that day.
I am in love with your laugh,
Your eyes,
Your smile,
Your face,
Your cute voice,
Your personality,
And I love that your mine,
I will love you forever.
Karkat,
As I said,
It took seconds"
Karkles,
I know I didn't tell you I loved you at the moment you told me, well thats
because I wasn't ready to tell anyone. And you kinda caught me off guard with
it. But I know thats no excuse. I know how hard it was for you to say that, so
I should have been prepared to say it back. How about, I tell you about my past
today huh? I mean, I think you deserve to hear it and deserve to fully
understand why I didn't say  'I love you' back. And well, now I am ready. I
will tell you every day from now on, and will tell you how beautiful you are
every second I breathe. Because seriously, Karkles, I am in love with you and
want to marry you...so please...Be mine forever?
Dave < 3

I smile as I finish writing and put it in an envelope before quickly changing
and walking friskly to his house, not even bothering knocking because I knew
his brother and sisters weren't there and I knew that Karkat was most likely in
his bedroom I cross the landing and find a note addressed to me on his door. I
pick it off and smile slightly and begin to read.
'Hi Dave...
Well, I guess I finally gave up, well if your reading this I must have. I mean,
you don't love me back, I get that. And I must have been stupid to think
that...but someone over heard me saying I love you...and well, they took me
aside and told me everything about you...about how you had sex with almost half
the boys at school...and that you left them...so I guess I was one of them
boys...no one special right? Well I kind of guess this a goodbye Dave...I
couldn't deal with being one of your many lays and it hurt that you couldn't
even bother to tell me. I hate myself for falling for it Dave...but what hurts
the most is that I actually fell in love with you. You took my virginity and I
didn't want anyone else to take it...the moment I layed eyes on you I loved
you, as you fell on me, I fell in love...and I hate myself for it so
much...well Dave...bye I won't be a problem in anyone's life anymore...I love
you...
Karkat'

I pause for a moment trying to take in all what was said and then my eyes grow
big and I suddenly remembered what he said about 'self-harm' and 'suicidal
past'. I shove his door down quickly with one hard kick and the sight that
allay in front of me made me feel sick. I screamed and ran to Karkat's
emotionless body. Wrapping my arms around him I shouted at the top of lungs his
name, trying to get him to wake up, which deep down I knew he wouldn't. My
hands were covered in his blood and so was my clothes, his bandages were off
and I saw the extent of the cuts on his arms, his arms were muallered, I
couldn't make out what was new cuts and old, he was still bleeding rapidly and
his body was going cold. I saw a sharp kitchen knife used for cutting meat in
one of his hands and his eyes were closed, his skin even more pale, from what I
could past the blood. I continued to scream, tears streaming down my cheeks and
it soon started to sting, but I didn't care. I held his body close and cried to
my hearts content at his dead body in my arms, and it was all my fault. I could
have fucking changed it, and told him I loved him, but I didn't because I was a
cowered. I continued to scream and cry until my voice began to waver and I
passed out, next to my boyfriends body.
The next thing I know I'm waking up in hospital, still covered in Karkat's
blood and I started to panic as my memories came back to me. I screamed loudly
and a nurse came running in. She hushed me and then called in my Bro to talk to
me. He informed me that I was in hospital for trama.
That same day, I escaped from the hospital and stole some morphine pills, the
loss of Karkat hurt too much to bare and I couldn't do it any longer. I was
found a couple of minutes later and was taken back to the hospital ward where I
went into surgery to save me. I then escaped the next day with a sharp utensil
used for surgery and cut up my arms and my wrists and then I was going to cut
my neck when I was found again. I was then diagnosed with depression and was
assigned to an institution for the mentally insane.
I don't talk now, or cry. All I think about was the time I was most happy, when
I was with my boyfriend. I do sometimes have conversations with him and I do
feel sorry for his brother and sisters, but they never come to see me. I heard
that my Bro had died in a car accident but I wasn't allowed to go to his
funeral. That had taken the last of my spark, if I had any. In the end I
completely gave up with everything, and John had given up with seeing me now.
But, out of everything, I can't remember what Karkat looks like. I can't
remember for the life of me, but I do get visits every day from someone with
black messy hair and urban eyes...
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you for all the hits and comments and kudos you give me for
     every single one of my works...I just...
     going to hug my Dave plushie and cry....
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